The Real Housewives of Galt's Gulch

Upon a recent trip to McKay Books, I got roped into an interesting conversation while standing in line to check out. I was sandwiched between two women. One woman looked batshit crazy. She had purple streaks in her hair & had all these bizarre, unheard of CDs in her basket. The other woman looked completely normal, cute hair, cute glasses & had Atlas Shrugged & The Fountainhead in her basket. I, or rather, one of the books in my stack, was the catalyst that brought these two women together.

Quick side note for any non-Southern readers: it's very normal to be standing in line & have someone size up your purchases & comment on them. For instance, "Ooh, that sweater is cute. Is it on sale?" "Yes, I found it in the back." "Did they have any Mediums?" "Yes, I think so." "Oh, good. I'm going to go grab one. Will you hold my place in line?" Seriously, all the time.

So I'm standing in line & at the top of my stack of books is Outlander by Diana Gabaldon. This book has been recommended to me about 100 times over, so when I saw it, I snatched it up. All I remember about it is that it's part historical fiction, part soft-core porn. What's not to love, right?

The normal looking woman, who's standing behind me, sees Outlander, asks if I've read it & tells me it's one of her favorite books. 'Ole Purple Hair, standing in front of me, turns around to see what book we're talking about, says it's one of her favorite books, too & then tells us she read it on her honeymoon. Of course she did.

There's a quick conversation about the other 10+ books in the Outlander series & how the first one is the best, etc. Exhausting her opinions on Outlander, 'Ole Purple Hair turns to the normal looking woman's basket, sees the two Ayn Rand books & asks if she has read them before. She says she has, but it's been awhile & she wants to re-read them. I tell them that they're my husband's favorite books & that he re-reads them every couple of years. 'Ole Purple Hair tells us that she tried to read Atlas Shrugged, got about a 100 pages in & gave up. She pontificates for a few minutes about whether or not she's smart enough to read these books. The normal looking woman & I share a knowing look that says, 'No, no you're not.' It was at that moment that 'Ole Purple Hair says, "Well, you know, I was reading it & it was so hard & then I said, 'I'll just wait & watch the movie when it comes out'."

The normal looking woman & I exchange yet another knowing look that says, 'Who in the hell is going to make a movie out of Atlas Shrugged?' We pay for our purchases & go our separate ways. I immediately call John to relay this ridiculous exchange, knowing that he'll die at the "I'll just wait & watch the movie" comment, which he does, of course.

Well, the joke's on me because before writing this, I thought I better make sure someone's not actually making a movie of Atlas Shrugged.... Yeah, someone totally is. And it's not Lifetime or Hallmark either. It's a $15,000,000 movie starring Taylor Schilling & Paul Johansson coming out in 2011. Touche, 'Ole Purple Hair. Touche...

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