Spinning For God

Until I find out what's wrong with my ankle, I've been taking a break from running & going to Spin instead. I usually go at lunch, but I saw a friend a week or so ago & she said the after work classes are a lot harder & she's lost 20 lbs just by going to Spin 3-4 times a week. Ding, ding, ding! Sold!

So I went yesterday after work. The instructor was a man named Gerry, who I've never seen before. Gerry was totally working the room. He knew most people by name & was going around saying hi to everyone & adjusting bikes as he saw fit. There was an older lady in front of me & she asked why she hasn't seen him at St. Henry's lately & he said that they've changed where they sit.... That they now sit on the far left. Got it. Still go to church. Duly noted.

Gerry starts the music & we begin warming up. It's a Christian song, it's kind of slow, whatever, it's a warm-up song. Then the second song starts & it's a faster tempo, but it's still Christian. Okay, Gerry. I get it, you're into God. You go to St. Henry's; you've got some kind of Jesus tattoo on my your bicep; you work at the Y; & you Spin to hard rock Christian music. I've been to classes at the Y before where the instructor played Christian music during the warm-up, but I don't think I've ever blogged about it, probably out of fear of being struck by lightning.

The class is getting going pretty good & the third song starts. It's the newish Madonna/Justin Timberlake song. Okay Gerry, now we're talking. Let's do this! But no. Madonna was merely a tease. Madonna segued into Santana, which segued into Journey, finally ending at Def Leopard. Cool down provided by Seal, naturally.

Gerry got pretty excited about Journey & found a way to relate the lyrics to the task at hand. Journey, "Don't stop believing..." Gerry, shouting breathlessly, "... you can do it; don't stop believing you can climb that hill!" I don't know how funny this is without the visual. Picture a petite, middle-aged man, fully grey, inappropriately large tattoo on his arm, fist pumping in the air, shouting Journey into a headset in a room 90% full of hip, young black people.

Gerry really hit his stride as Def Leopard's "Pour Some Sugar On Me" came on. In fact, he prefaced it by telling us to get ready to "put some sugar on it" because the next song is America's rock anthem. Hmm, okay Gerry. So when the song started & I realized what it was, I laughed as hard as someone with diminished lung capacity can in a 110 degree Spin room. The two girls beside me just smiled & looked down.

We start climbing. This was our last work song so it was hard as shit. I was soaking wet & had lost feeling in my quadriceps a good 15 minutes prior. Pour some sugar on me? Indeed. Again, Gerry, who is clearly not a man who lets opportunity pass him by, decides to relate the lyrics to the class. We were essentially going up & down in our seat for 6 minutes & every time we had to stand & turn our resistance up, Gerry would say, & by say, I mean shout, "Put some sugar on that resistance! Turn it up until it's sticky, sweet!" I'm 100% serious. This happened.

I'm giving Gerry a lot of flack, but truth be told, it's the hardest Spin class I've taken to date, so I'll probably go back. Plus, I mean, who doesn't love Journey? And God?

The National

Sayonara Speed Session. It's Been Real.