Help me, Martha. Help; help me, Martha.

I want to learn how to garden. I have zero yard experience. I've never even cut the grass. Seriously. I'm sure when I was little, I helped plant things, but I have no current knowledge of how to do this. We have a pretty good sized yard, front & back, & it needs some TLC. We need practical things like bushes for privacy, but we also need flowers for curb appeal. Aside from not knowing how to plant things, I also have zero knowledge of what to buy. Nor do I know what the difference is between all the 1,000,000 types of plants & flowers. Basically, I don't know what to buy, when to buy it, when to plant it, or how to plant it. I need help. I need Martha. I keep reading her magazines & it looks so easy. Buy it, dig a hole, plant it, success. I've asked my friends with yards what I need to know, how do they know what to buy, etc. & they keep saying they don't know either; they just buy what they like, plant it & hope it works out. This doesn't help me.

I thought about buying a beginner book on gardening, but I'm afraid that won't really help me. I feel like this is going to be something I need to learn hands-on. I did get one good piece of advice from my friend Jaime. She & her husband have a really nice yard -really nice, but she said they went crazy with it & regret it now because they're too busy to keep it up. That is totally something I would do -go batshit crazy planting things & then cuss myself the next year when I had to maintain it.

I have an uncle with a landscaping business & he's offered to come help me figure out a plan & then buy the stuff for me at cost. I guess I need to start there. I'm just afraid he's going to come up with some grand scheme that will cost a lot of money & basically I just want some flowers....

Jessica & Abigail

Carnivores, Start Your Engines